Sad

May. 15th, 2011 01:53 am
impetusofadream: (ravenclaws - we got it going on!)
I really do need to remember I have this stupid thing. But it's hard enough trying to keep track of Facebook and livejournal and e-mail and all the other things we use to communicate with people.


Today i am sad. I'm not entirely sure why. I think a lto of it has to do with realizing that maybe I'm a bad friend. that i don't keep in contact with people enough.

Or that I'm once again accutely aware of the fact that I am still single and that I desperately crave the kind of connect to another human being that comes with a relationship...and that I'm also desperately afraid that I will end up alone. At this point I don't even care if they're a man, just someone around my own age that just GETS me and wants to be with me, only me. and who loves me in spite of the fact i'm messy as hell, and completely fail at calling people back and worry all the time about being too fat, or a failure, or any of many other stupid things I over think.

I should be capable of being happy without a man, or woman or whatever. And most days I am...and every now and again, i remember that I'm 24 pushing 25; that I can count on one hand the amount of dates i've been on, nevermind having an actual long term relationship; and that I remember people telling me at 15 to stop worrying about dating...and here I am 10 years down the road and I'm in almost the same place romantically as i was then *except I know A LOT more about sex* and that scares me. It scares me so much.

God I don't even know what I'm babbling about. I'm tired, and the Doctor Who episode was just really emotional for me, I wear my heart on my sleeve I guess.

I think I'm just gonna go to bed before i embarrass myself any further.

*WAVES*

Sep. 24th, 2010 02:17 am
impetusofadream: (Default)
Lookie!!!! I haz a Dreamwidth!!! HOORAY!!!

*like I need ANOTHER form of communicatio to keep up with*

And this journal, UNLIKE THE LJ ONE, is not going to ever be made aware of to my friends i know IRL. Because sometimes an Imp just needs a place free of people that are going to call and harass you after a rant post about something they did...for example someone recently renamed everyone is my phone book as characters from a popular book series...RIGHT AFTER I'D JUST GOTTEN EVERYONE BACK IN AFER MY PHONE HAD BEEN STOLEN!!!

And I'm sorry but I don't think that's funny. At all. Particularly after they and another friend had just spent like half an hour torture tickleing me. And they kept going after I asked them to stop in the "mean it" voice. And maybe I've old-fashioned that I still have an honor code when it comes to mock fighting with your friends, but when some one says stop, and it's in that voice that drops an octave and several decibels LOUDER than previous stops, you know it's not funny to them anymore.

Had I posted about this on LJ, I can guarantee you there'd have been a very annoyed voicemail on my phone tomorrow.

So, Not sure how this is different than LJ but I intend to find out. Thanks ever so much to the loverly [profile] gipsy_dreamer  for the acess code to this place! Point me in the direction of any friends to make since you're currently my only one here on DW.

BYE ALL!!!

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impetusofadream

May 2011

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